Well, my little readers, I’ve done it.
I survived my first paper of being editor-reporter-photographer-designer. I didn’t have to lay out the whole paper this week and only had to work on an ad or two, next week it gets real. It was still a lot and gave my stomach-cramp inducing anxiety.
But I can breathe again.
I also realize the only way I could have gotten through these couple weeks was to loosen my control and trust other people. They still let me down sometimes but more often than not, it’s OK to let someone do what needs to be done (even if you would totally do it better). I haven’t been very good at giving up control of anything, even when I was little. A couple less than stellar grades on school projects and you find yourself insisting that “no, you guys, I totally don’t mind spending 20 hours by myself this weekend making sure our diorama is perfect.” The same goes with my newspaper. I may hate it sometimes, but it really is my baby. It reflects who I am to the outside world. I started writing a weekly column (a substitute for blogging, I suppose) and last week I was accused of babbling. That was a little heartbreaking. Insulting my general news work is one thing, but when I pore myself into my writing, back off, random Othello guy.
Ok, so I have thin skin. Deal with it. I want people to tell me I’m pretty and charming and delightful and that I can write oh so well and did I mention delightful?
I buried myself in newsy newsy newsy things today, so I don’t have a specific TILT for you.
But I have a couple things that have been helping me through life lately.
* Candy Crush: I can’t help it. I’m an addict. It’s really bad. I can’t ever wait to start playing again. I didn’t think I’d like the game. Now on level 98, I guess I like it OK.
* Mike Birbiglia. I first blogged about my crush on Birbigglebug in February 2012. It hasn’t gotten better. I’ve now consumed his book, all his standup specials on video and have the audio to listen to on my drives back and forth from various adventures. I can literally not get enough. It’s a major problem. Plus, he totally favorited some of my tweets and it was magical.
* Adventures. I can also not get enough of being in the car. I’ve always had a bit of wanderlust, but being in a long-distance relationship has just made it worse. We already have to drive a lot, why not see more of the state? Just in the upcoming weeks, we have adventures hiking, hitting up Seattle, seeing new things and visiting new place. Mayzie is just over 9 months old and she already has 19,000 miles on her. There will be plenty more where that came from.
PS to my faithful readers. Thanks for reading all my babbling. I have a lot of feels. I’ve been keeping them inside. But now here they are. Let’s bid me good luck on my road to recovering all the happy that’s gone missing in my life, shall we?