I’ve been on a quest to clean out the things I own. To organize. To clean. To essentially move things from one place to another but get rid of some things I don’t need. A lot of things I don’t need.
Shoved in the back corner of a box, I found a crumpled, ripped and old piece of paper. Written when I was in high school (or middle school, to be real) was probably the most angsty poem I ever wrote. I don’t know who it was about, although I have some hunches, because all of my crushes were my “one true love.” It seems laughable now that I am actually, honest-to-goodness in love with the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with.
Knowing myself, and knowing I didn’t really date in my youth, there’s a good chance this is about a movie character or (even more likely) a literary character who touched my heart in a profound way.
But what’s the point of finding this hidden gems if you don’t share? Plus, I’m throwing away this paper but don’t want to forget the true genius I had as a young writer.
By Briana Alzola
It’s over.It’s done.
We have said goodbye
And walked away.
My feelings for you
Should have walked away, too.
So why am I tormented by your name?
Why does your smile send shivers up
And down my spine?
How come our conversations always end
With me overjoyed to just have talked to you?
You were my first love
That leaves a lasting mark on my heart.
I can’t rub it out with the strongest eraser.
Or wipe it away with a thousand cloths.
I may be able to paint over it
With the name of another.
But over time, even the strongest paint
Will chip away.
Showing the truest colors underneath.
Maybe the someday someone will come and leave
A mark so deep that yours will no
But for now, I will just say I don’t love you
When in my heart I know that it is a lie.
I try to see how you can act like nothing
Between us even mattered.
But I can’t figure you out.
Maybe on the inside you are as
Uneasy and confused as I am.
If you are, I would never know.
I will try to take after you,
And put on a mask for the rest of
The world, to lie and say
I am over you.